I really just got the urge to write…this has been rare for me as you can tell by the serious lack of posts lately.
But I wanted to write about relationships…just some random, semi-unconnected thoughts
I really love relationships with people when I have a history with people. Don’t get me wrong, love new friends…but today I was at a church where I saw a lot of people that I spent time with when we lived here. There is something significant when you know where a person has come from, when you’ve been able to see them grow and become more like Jesus.
I love relationships where it seems like I’ve never left. Paul, Ryan, Jeremy, Christian, Jason….these are some of my friends (and there are others) where when we hang out, it just feels like we haven’t ever been apart. I especially love this about my friend Ryan…we were in each others weddings and then didn’t really stay in touch. After years of not really talking, we can see each other and be laughing within seconds…
I hate not being settled in life right now…for two main reason, well three: One: I don’t like that it’s driving our family crazy. Two: I hate living out of out a camping backpack and having all of my nice shirts wrinkly. But the big one for me is that I hate the limited time I get with people that are significant in my life. I hate that I feel like everything important to be said has a sense of urgency…I really miss sharing life…simple life with people where there is a mix between the simple and the significant.
The thing I enjoy the most about ‘going to church’ is hearing people’s stories…listening. Knowing. Praying. I think that there is something truly sacred in taking a moment to really enter into another’s presence and hear them. To enjoy their laughter and to say ‘Thanks God’ for the gift that they are.
Laughter is really important to me…I’m realizing that the people that I am close to, I laugh with. I like to think of Jesus laughing…and I really love the Jesus film where the guy who plays Jesus smiles a lot. I think Jesus and I will laugh a lot in Heaven together.
I really want to be known…I really want to know others. If I have to spend much more of my life in a cycle of engage-disengage…move on to the next friendship….I think I’ll go crazy. I just want to be settled and have people into my home, hang out in cafés…and know I’m not going to be moving on in a few weeks…is that too much to ask?
God…help me to engage well…to love well…to have the capacity to push through. Help me reveal your care for people. Help me to slow down. Help me to listen well. Make me into a good friend.